Your child wants apple juice, another wants more screen time, and your boss sends a last-minute request. Suddenly, your patience is gone. If this sounds familiar, Cassidy Freitas, a licensed marriage and family therapist, offers practical ways to find balance in her book Mom Needs A Moment.
The Importance of Creating Space
Freitas emphasizes the need for ‘margins’—small breaks in your day. She notes, ‘When I feel dysregulated as a parent, I need space. Just give me a moment.’ These moments help parents recalibrate emotions to be better for themselves and their families. Today’s parents, she says, are under immense pressure, balancing child care and work commitments.
Handling Parental Stress
Consider a hectic morning where your big kid is late for school and your little one needs a diaper change. All while you can’t find your keys. Freitas suggests placing a hand on your chest as a reset reminder. Use this as a cue to take deep, intentional breaths. This helps reset your nervous system.
Once calm, assess the cause of your anger. Is it about being judged if your child is late? Understanding the root helps make better decisions.
Balancing Personal Desires and Parenting
Imagine you want to attend a work event, but it coincides with your child’s bedtime. Freitas advises giving yourself the same counsel you would a friend. Parents often neglect their own needs. Ask yourself if the guilt is valid. Maintaining friendships might be a value you want to show your kids.
‘Emotions are data messengers,’ Freitas says. We should listen to them but also evaluate if they align with our values.
Repairing After Losing Your Temper
Everyone loses their cool sometimes. The key is to repair the relationship with your children. Be honest about your outburst and its true cause. This moment of acknowledgment can foster connection and show children that mistakes are opportunities for growth.
‘Repair is the most powerful tool in our parenting belt,’ Freitas says. Kids learn from seeing how parents address their own mistakes.
Additional Resources
For more advice, experts Eve Rodsky and Jacqueline Misla provide a guide on dividing household chores fairly. If parenting feels draining, watch for signs of burnout and learn coping strategies. Also, transitioning back to work after family leave brings challenges. Managing these emotions can make the process smoother.
This article was edited by Malaka Gharib, with visuals by CJ Riculan and Malaka Gharib.
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