When an expectant mother phoned her doctor to discuss the outcomes of a prenatal test, she started with a simple request: do not disclose the baby’s sex. Many expectant parents opt not to discover their child’s sex for several reasons.
A study from Ohio State University on first-time expectant mothers showed that those who kept the baby’s sex a surprise were more likely to be open to new experiences and maintain egalitarian views on gender roles. The research suggested some parents choose not to learn their baby’s sex to avoid gender stereotypes influencing expectations, gifts, and parenting choices before the birth.
Al Sheahan, based in Perth, Australia, found herself in a similar situation during her second pregnancy. “We didn’t find out the sex of our first child and had no intention of discovering it for our second either,” she shared with Newsweek. Her call was to review the Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) results. She specifically told the doctor, “I don’t want to know the sex. It might be on the results, so please don’t tell me that.” However, the doctor missed this request.
Sheahan was shocked when the doctor immediately revealed her baby was a girl. “I just said, ‘No, no, no, I don’t want to know the sex, sorry,’ and pretended I didn’t hear,” she recounted. Despite trying to ignore the information, the surprise was spoiled. Sheahan had managed to keep her first child’s sex a secret until birth, enjoying the suspense. Although initially disappointed, Sheahan doesn’t hold any grudge against the doctor who erred and now finds humor in the situation.
Nora Snowy Sheahan, named after her great grandfather, was born a few months later. She will celebrate her first birthday soon. Having experienced both revealing and concealing the baby’s sex before birth, Sheahan provides insight into these two approaches. “As long as you don’t have a gender preference, discovering who your baby is at birth is especially rewarding,” she remarked. Although it simplified naming because they only needed one, she still prefers the surprise element.
For those hoping to keep their baby’s sex a mystery, Sheahan offers advice: “Remind every provider you speak to at the start of each conversation, as it’s easy for them to slip up,” she advised. “I wouldn’t change anything. Everything happens for a reason, and she was destined to be our girl, whether we found out early or not.”
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