On the morning of October 7, 2024, Eric and I awoke feeling exhausted after a busy weekend. As usual, Eric went to wake our youngest daughters, Grace and Jill, the only two still living with us since our older children, Isabelle, Alex, and Olivia, had moved out. I lingered in bed, listening to the familiar sounds of our morning routine.
Eric knocked on Grace’s door, calling out, “Good morning, Gracetopher,” but received no response. He remembered she had decided to sleep in Olivia’s room since she missed her while Olivia was away at college. They were inseparable.
Eric moved to Olivia’s room, knocked, and opened the door when there was no reply. The next thing I heard was my husband’s voice, “Kate, she’s dead. Oh my God, Grace is dead.” At that moment, our lives changed forever.
I rushed to the room, my mind struggling to process Eric’s words. Grace appeared to be peacefully asleep, but her skin color said otherwise. Eric was already on the phone with 911, performing CPR as instructed. Despite being in shock, we focused on doing what we could for our daughter.
When the paramedics arrived, we understood Grace was gone, yet clung to hope. After all efforts were made and one EMT confirmed our 17-year-old daughter’s passing, Eric and I took turns saying our final goodbyes. We whispered love to her, held her hands, and covered her with a blanket as a final act of love.
Reaching Out to Our Family
Our first priority was to contact our three older children—Olivia at college, Alex living with his girlfriend three hours away, and Isabelle living two hours away. Eric set out to gather them, while I stayed with Jill, trying to comprehend the situation.
Grace had been under medical care for five years for syncope and tachycardia. Her death was due to cardiac arrhythmia. It seemed an electrical issue in her heart stopped it during her sleep.
The days following Grace’s death were marked by shock and overwhelming sadness. We were unprepared for the magnitude of losing a child. Everything we knew felt altered, even our identity and future.
In this new reality, decisions were immediate: planning funerals, selecting photos, and writing her obituary. On the day of the funeral, we were supposed to visit Michigan State University together. Such reminders were constant during those early days.
Coping with Grief
Grief affected each family member differently. For Eric and me, it was consuming—emotionally, mentally, and physically. We took it day by day, sometimes moment by moment.
We faced whether to stay in the home where Grace died or move. Ultimately, we relocated to Sugar Island seeking a fresh start while carrying her memory with us.
We not only lost Grace but also the future we envisioned with her. We spent 17 years nurturing her, eager to see her grow. Her absence means the loss of the person she was becoming, including the paths she would have taken.
Legacy Through Stories
To keep her memory alive, we conceived the Gracie Goes Everywhere books. These stories, with a character inspired by Grace, explore new adventures, reflecting her humor and spirit.
We recognize Grace as more than a tragedy or statistic. She was vibrant and intelligent, her presence still significant. We strive to advocate for her and preserve her legacy.
To other parents: Listen and pay attention to your children. Their voices matter in the family journey. Cherish successes and learn from each moment shared. Grace always knew she was a valued member of our family.
Eric and I continue to honor Grace’s legacy through our writing and social media channels (@graciegoeseverywhere). We aim to ensure that the love, kindness, and hope Grace spread continue to impact the world.
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