When I returned to work after having my son, I faced intense feelings of depression and concern for my mental well-being. During a postpartum depression study at New York University hospital, doctors noted significant changes in my responses six months in. I was not surprised. Leaving my baby for nine hours a day to return to work while staying confined to my home was challenging.
I cherished my role as a writer and appreciated my income. Yet, the decision to continue working was not straightforward. Weekly paychecks seemed less substantial with childcare costs deducted. The conflict between professional fulfillment and parental responsibilities was overwhelming.
Welcome to Mildy Maternal: Diary of a Work In Progress Mom. Join me weekly as I navigate life as a new mother, unsure about motherhood until facing infertility. I’m a 34-year-old residing in New York City with my 14-month-old, creating my own parenting path. Before having my child, I had never even held a baby, a fact that occasionally worries my mother.
I’ve been a professional writer for nearly ten years, with eight of those years at Newsweek. My work is deeply intertwined with my identity. At my wedding, Newsweek even featured in my father’s speech. If someone in 2023 asked me if I’d ever consider leaving work, I would have found it laughable. Motherhood hasn’t entirely altered that perspective. I still don’t aspire to be a full-time stay-at-home mother.
However, two months post-maternity leave, I almost resigned. I was close enough to draft several resignation emails. My struggle with balancing work and motherhood is ongoing.
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