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Returning to work after parental leave can be overwhelming. Many parents, like myself, feel significant anxiety and guilt on the first day back at the office. The transition from being just a worker or parent to balancing the role of a working parent is a major adjustment.
Amy Beacom, founder and CEO of the Center for Parental Leave Leadership, highlights the challenges. Parents often find themselves in two new roles simultaneously, often under pressure and with little guidance or support. This scenario is common for mothers in the United States, the only industrialized nation without a federal paid leave policy. A 2012 report revealed that one in four women return to work within two weeks of childbirth.
Despite having several months of paid leave, I found reentry difficult. For those preparing to return or who have recently done so, there are ways to ease into this transition, according to Beacom.
Making Work Work for You
Returning parents often assume their work conditions are fixed, but Beacom advises against this mindset. Companies generally want their employees to be happy and engaged. If you make reasonable requests, you may find they are agreeable.
She suggests several strategies for a smoother return:
- Plan your first day, week, and month. Discuss this with your manager before your leave to ensure clear expectations are set.
- Schedule a check-in while you’re on leave. This eases both parties in preparing for your return.
- Consider returning mid-week. This allows you to adjust and prepare before fully diving back in.
- Negotiate your schedule. Small changes, like shifting your start time, can significantly impact your commute and childcare logistics. Be proactive in finding solutions that work for you.
Letting “Good” Be Good Enough
Once back at work, you might find tasks easier to manage. Parenting introduces complexities that can enhance discipline and efficiency, according to Darby Saxbe, author of “Dad Brain,” a book on the science of fatherhood. However, this doesn’t mean things will be easy. When feeling overwhelmed, aim to let “good” suffice.
“My best advice to parents is lower your standards,” Saxbe advises. “Don’t expect you’re going to be amazing at everything.”
Reshma Saujani, CEO of Moms First, stresses intentionality in taking on new responsibilities. Differentiate between necessary tasks and those that merely add to your record. Evaluate how much stress you impose on yourself versus what is beyond your control.
Expect that the path to feeling back to your full self takes time. Parenting alters both the brain and body, with research indicating it could take several months to a couple of years to fully recover.
“Respect that this is a transformational time,” Saxbe notes. “Be patient with yourself.”
The digital story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is CJ Riculan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected]. Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
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