Parents often express concern about their children’s ability to handle tough times. Resilience, however, is not an instant trait. According to a 2019 study in Health Affairs, children thrive more in adversity when they have solid support networks and positive family relationships.
Manhattan-based psychotherapist Katie Rose shared with Newsweek four strategies for parents to nurture resilient children:
Limit Your Child’s Choices
Rose emphasizes the importance of not overburdening young children with too many choices, which can lead to overwhelm rather than confidence.
Resilient children develop confidence in their ability to solve problems over time,she stated.
- For ages 0-6, limit unnecessary choices around toys, clothes, and activities to build trust and prevent overwhelm.
- For ages 6-12, provide limited options and encourage thoughtful decision-making.
- For teens, act as a consultant, guiding them while allowing greater ownership of their choices.
Gradually increase responsibilities as children develop their confidence and decision-making skills.
Protect and Revere Childhood
Rose highlights that children build resilience when they feel inherently safe. A calm nervous system supports creativity, emotional regulation, and healthy risk-taking.
- Shield children from adult concerns, constant news exposure, and issues beyond their developmental readiness.
- Communicate honestly and clearly, in an age-appropriate manner.
- Focus on listening rather than lecturing, using the acronym WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
- Avoid overscheduling and reduce excessive extracurricular activities.
- Ensure time for rest, boredom, and unstructured play.
Connect Before You Correct
Children cope better when their emotions are acknowledged rather than dismissed, allowing them to learn and grow from tough emotions and mistakes.
- Create a supportive home environment where children feel secure to take healthy risks.
- Acknowledge children’s emotions before offering solutions.
- Ensure children feel understood during challenging times.
- Wait for emotions to settle before providing guidance.
Model Healthy Coping
Rose believes children learn resilience from observing how adults handle challenges.
Children learn far more from what we model than what we tell them,she stated.
- Ask open-ended questions like, What do you think we could do next?
- Praise effort, persistence, and learning rather than focusing solely on results.
- Display stress management techniques such as deep breathing and thoughtful problem-solving.
- Show that mistakes can be acknowledged and repaired by apologizing when necessary.
- Exhibit flexibility and self-compassion in tough situations.
For further details, contact Newsweek editors Charlotte Nisbet and Emma Lee-Sang.
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